A memorial service for 18-year-old Manhattan Beach resident Ryan James, who passed away last month, drew more than 1,000 mourners to Mira Costa on Saturday. His parents have vowed to honor him by advocating for epilepsy awareness.

James, a dedicated athlete and scholar who graduated from Mira Costa in June, had just started his freshman year at UCLA when he succumbed to an epileptic seizure last month. James was remembered for his warmth, humor, commitment to helping others, and determined pursuit of his goals. 

The family has requested that donations be made to organizations that provide research and resources for families with epilepsy, including CURE Epilepsy, the Epilepsy Foundation Los Angeles, the Cameron Boyce Foundation, and the Danny Did Foundation. 

Rev. Mike Spitters, of Manhattan Beach Community Church, spoke of James' "grit" in persisting through epilepsy, as well as earlier this year, forging on despite experiencing a collapsed lung. Although he was having trouble breathing at the time, he still managed to make a presentation to the church about a volunteer experience before heading over to urgent care, and then into the hospital for 10 days to recover.

"He had this way of looking at you, steady, curious, and yet respectful - a great quality in anyone, but especially in a teenager," said Spitters. "Ryan seemed instinctively to know what matters most in life is forming and nurturing relationships."

James' friends spoke of the determination and humor with which he battled through setbacks, such as breaking his arm just before a summer that he had planned to fill with athletic pursuits. Instead, he rallied his friends around the poker table, establishing a Tuesday poker night that seemed to draw more friends every week. 

"He was the catalyst of all such nights, always organizing, always playing, always hosting, out of a genuine love for his friends, and a desire to spend as much time with us as possible," said Hudson Sagadevan. 

"Ryan, thank you for being such a great friend," said Colin Freelin. "We'll never forget you, and your life continues to leave an imprint on our own. The world is a much better place for you having been in it."

James' uncles and other friends and teachers also shared memories and music in his honor. Friends are asked to share memories here. 

Nancy Hesterberg, James' mother, spoke of epilepsy as the "monster" that she had feared since James was a baby and was first diagnosed with the disease. "Ryan's first seizure was in the middle of the night at six months old," she said. "Over the years, he had many more nighttime seizures and we were always there to help him. He also had breakthrough seizures while awake. They’d strike any time, anywhere, with zero warning."

Hesterberg continued: "I dreaded college for 18 years, because we wouldn't be there. Four of the biggest seizure triggers are sleep deprivation, stress, alcohol and illness. Those four words pretty much describe college life. So when Ryan got into UCLA, we thought our prayers were answered... Chris and I were relieved that he would be nearby, yet on his own, with a world class medical facility right on campus. 

"His roommates knew all about his epilepsy. They knew how to use his rescue meds. And we had each other on speed dial. But in the end, none of it mattered. The monster struck again in the middle of the night, and took Ryan from all of us. It robbed Ryan of everything... He still had so much to give this world."

"Ryan never wanted to be a poster child for epilepsy," Hesterberg said, "because he didn't want it to define him. But now, to give Ryan’s tragedy an ounce of purpose, we must share his story and increase awareness about epilepsy."

 

In particular, said Hesterberg, the family wanted to raise awareness about SUDEP, or sudden unexpected death from epilepsy, which James experienced. 

She added that family and friends would be participating in Epilepsy Walk Los Angeles on March 14 at the Rose Bowl, and that his friends were hoping to organize an annual run that would raise funds for epilepsy research. 

The family is also working to establish an epilepsy support group at UCLA, and will establish a scholarship in James' name, she said.

In the United States, 3.4 million people live with epilepsy, and more than 150,000 new cases are diagnosed each year. One in 26 people will develop epilepsy at some point in their life, according to the Epilepsy Foundation. 

Following the memorial, friends and family gathered at Manhattan Beach Community Church. There, the center hall was decorated with James' various team jerseys and t-shirts, race numbers, and a collection of photos and memorabilia from throughout his life. 

James was a graduate of Meadows Elementary, Manhattan Beach Middle School, and Mira Costa. He was a cross country runner and avid skier and rock climber, and was a decorated member of the Mira Costa Model UN.

He had been volunteering with the Friendship Foundation since age eight, and had forged a close friendship with one of the Friendship Foundation participants who was nonverbal. He was also an active member of the Manhattan Beach Community Church, Amigos Unidos, and Mira Costa's Link Crew. 

"Among Ryan's greatest gifts was his ability to stay focused, analytical, and determined for himself, while remaining joyful, compassionate and kind to others. It's what drew people into his orbit, and it's what made him such a great role model, leader, friend, brother and son," his family wrote in a short biography.